I am SO MAD at myself. Yesterday while Kimm was in the shower I ate almost a whole bag of peanut butter chips. I don’t even know what made me do it. I just wanted something sweet and I wanted it then and when I was eating them I wasn’t even really thinking, I was just eating.
And initially they tasted great. It was a sweet explosion in my mouth. But then after eating them for a while, scarfing them down, that sensation went away, replaced with a stomachache and a heartache and anger at myself.
At the end all I could remember was how much I hate it when I do something like that. How much I hate me…how weak I am…how I feel like I’ll NEVER lose the weight. How helpless and hopeless it all feels.