Thinking about vacation…

Monday

VACATION after only two more work days!!!

I sure am getting excited.

But as Kimm mentioned, a lot of our vacation is going to be centered around food —

…pizza out on the first and last nights

…El Forestero

…Cracker Barrel

…ice cream

…appetizers

…bagels for breakfast

…pumpkin spiced lattes

AND much more I’m sure.

I don’t know why it is but vacation for me has always signaled a BREAK from normal food patterns…letting loose a little and enjoying the food that you don’t really get to have on a normal day.

And you know what?

I’m OKAY with this.

I’m not going to not enjoy life (and the food that is part of it) because of strict food rules I tell myself to follow.

 

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Soothing with food

Sunday

I don’t know WHEN it happened but seriously I feel like food has become that soother for frustrating events that happen to us.

We had actually planned to get pizza out tonight because we were going to swing up to the mall and get our new iPhones.  Well, the getting of the iPhones didn’t happen because we were trying to keep our current cell phone plan and because of that we had to try to order them at home which was a HUGE pain in the butt.

But even if we hadn’t planned on getting pizza out I’m sure we would have because we were both so fed up with the process of something that should have been so simple.

And when that happens, we tend to turn to food to make us feel better.

I’m not making a judgment about it…it just happens.

Something to think about.

On the upswing again.

Saturday

My mood is much improved today!

Thank goodness for new days.

My eating was okay at work despite my initial sad mood — potato salad at about 2:30 am, some goldfish crackers a few times, and my coffee.

Best thing — stopped for glazed donuts for us as an after-work-treat.  SO YUMMY.

 

Morose

Friday

I’m really just not feeling myself at all today and I HATE it.

I feel sad, irritated, depressed.

Hormonal???

I just can’t wait for tomorrow to hopefully feel better.

The worst part…it was Izzy’s birthday and I couldn’t properly enjoy it…and I have to go in to work early tonight.

UGH.

That little green monster

Thursday

I HATE it when I get jealous of other people, specifically the way they look.

Today I had my ACLS instructor class and a co-worker of mine was there and I was VERY jealous of how she looked (in my mind…thinner, more “together,” beautiful).  Whenever this happens I just seem to put myself down even more.

“You’ll NEVER look like that.”

“Why even try?”

ARGHHHH.

It’s just setting myself up for more failure.

I wish so much every day that I didn’t have these hang ups about myself.  It would make life so much easier if I just loved myself the way I am.

Feeling more in control

Tuesday

Since watching my portion sizes and laying off the salt I feel SO MUCH MORE in control of my body.

I truly wish I felt more in control of my emotions regarding my eating.  I wish I could just ENJOY food and eating.

But I’m not giving up…this is a process for me and I don’t want to hate food or myself.

I will get to the point where I will be happy with how I act around food.

I will not deny myself any food.  That is not the answer anymore.

I will get to the point where food brings me joy only.

Change in plans

Monday

No Labor Day get together today.  Kimm’s mom was admitted to the hospital for abdominal pain.

We’ll have to postpone the picnic we had planned.

Hopefully she’ll feel better soon.

As for me, I’m extra tired because I stayed with her mom in the ER for about four hours.  Got only about 4 hours of sleep…and I’m back on tonight.

So I’ll have to be extra careful not to let my sleep deprivation lead to extra eating.

I can tell already — No Doze and gum to the rescue!

Comforting food.

Sunday

There are just some foods that are so comforting.

Prime example — homemade chocolate chip cookies!

I made these today to take to our Labor Day cookout tomorrow.

There is so much nostalgia in making these cookies…mixing the batter, licking the beaters, stirring in the chocolate chips, scooping the batter on to the pan, smelling that wonderfully, distinct aroma as the cookies bake, cooling the cookies on the baking rack, taste-testing that first cookie when it is still warm.

Ahhh…love those memories.

Some food definitely is worth the calories…if only for the comforting feelings that are produced.

No salt — check up

Saturday

So far I’ve gone with no added salt for FIVE days.

And so far — it’s been okay.  I don’t miss it too much (except on cooked veggies).  I haven’t had any popcorn because I know I would miss it there.

I’m going to be anxious to see how I feel at the end of the month.

Maybe I will be able to kick the salt habit!